Common Sense

Many a fan is waiting for midnight Friday when they can purchase (legally) a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. They are speculating themselves into coronary disease over the fate of a fictional character. I myself am going to purchase a copy on Amazon.

I’m also headed to Wal-Mart after work to buy a copy of Goblet of Fire because, well, it’s been a year since I saw it in theaters and I want to refresh my memory before going to see Order of the Phoenix this weekend.

Yes, I’m a little bit of a Harry Potter nut. Sailor Moon and Space Monkey dragged me to see Chamber of Secrets in the theater and I really liked what I saw. So much in fact that I also watched The Sorcerer’s Stone rerun because HBO had premiered it on the same night. Ever since then, I’ve eagerly awaited each movie premiere.

Sad to say, though, I’ve never actually read any of the books. I know, I know, how dare I! But at this point, if I read the whole series, it might ruin the future movies for me. And I don’t like comparing the movies to the books. Being blissfully ignorant of JK Rowling’s writing, I can just enjoy the story as it unfolds on the screen.

Having said all of that, I know some boob in the newsroom or on some Web site is going to blurt out how it all ends, so I might as well buy Deathly Hallows and ruin the ending for myself. At least then, I have only myself to blame.

I also need to go by Two Minnies and pay back a loan. You know you have a problem when you’re hitting up your waitress friend for some extra ones to stick in some girl’s g-string. Luckily, it’s only five bucks and I don’t think Tracey would have my thumbs broken if I didn’t pay her back in a timely fashion.

It’s a funny story. I went Monday to heal my broken ego. A certain girl had broken my heart, but we’re still going to be good friends. It was all me trying push things to a new level and it was a level she didn’t want to go to.

So I figured titties in my face might make me feel better. I sat and talked with my good friend Exotica, who gave me dating advice, I bought a drink for one of the waitresses who is really cute, named Ashley, who remembered me because we talked and I bought her a drink on July 4th.

And I now know more about the anatomy of one of my favorite dancers and certain scents than I do about most of the women I’ve actually had sex with.

When I was at my loneliest and looking kind of pathetic, one of the girls, Precious, walked over and asked if she could sit with me because she was lonely and I looked lonely. Part of Exotica’s advice had been not to do the lonely, desperate thing if I really wanted a girl to like me, but looking pathetic is sort of my thing to attract girls.

We started talking and she had noticed me several times, but she didn’t think she was my “flavor” since everybody knows I have a thing for Austin, the tall blonde dancer. She obviously isn’t a reader of this blog because I told her “Actually, I’ve got a thing for short asian chicks.”

To which she replied, “I’m short, I’m just wearing really high heels!”

Long story short, she lives in McGregor near my great-aunt Rea, totally wants to hang out with me during the day and whenever we can, and she gave me her real name and her digits so I can give her a call. I’m hoping I can get a date for my Harry Potter viewing this weekend.

We might even make a thing of it by bringing her kids over and watching Goblet of Fire on the HD TV before going to the theater. Normally, I wouldn’t be about chicks with kids, but

• It means she puts out.
• I actually don’t like babies or messy toddlers, other kids are cool like my niece Lindsay.
• And this chick is really hot and I’m sure I can dig her kids, too. It’s always just been a prejudice because I didn’t want to be one of those Mr. Mom types.

If things work out, I might have a Common Sense Girlfriend to write about soon. I definitely don’t feel heartbroken anymore.

Many a fan is waiting for midnight Friday when they can purchase (legally) a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. They are speculating themselves into coronary disease over the fate of a fictional character. I myself am going to purchase a copy on Amazon.

I’m also headed to Wal-Mart after work to buy a copy of Goblet of Fire because, well, it’s been a year since I saw it in theaters and I want to refresh my memory before going to see Order of the Phoenix this weekend.

Yes, I’m a little bit of a Harry Potter nut. Sailor Moon and Space Monkey dragged me to see Chamber of Secrets in the theater and I really liked what I saw. So much in fact that I also watched The Sorcerer’s Stone rerun because HBO had premiered it on the same night. Ever since then, I’ve eagerly awaited each movie premiere.

Sad to say, though, I’ve never actually read any of the books. I know, I know, how dare I! But at this point, if I read the whole series, it might ruin the future movies for me. And I don’t like comparing the movies to the books. Being blissfully ignorant of JK Rowling’s writing, I can just enjoy the story as it unfolds on the screen.

Having said all of that, I know some boob in the newsroom or on some Web site is going to blurt out how it all ends, so I might as well buy Deathly Hallows and ruin the ending for myself. At least then, I have only myself to blame.

I also need to go by Two Minnies and pay back a loan. You know you have a problem when you’re hitting up your waitress friend for some extra ones to stick in some girl’s g-string. Luckily, it’s only five bucks and I don’t think Tracey would have my thumbs broken if I didn’t pay her back in a timely fashion.

It’s a funny story. I went Monday to heal my broken ego. A certain girl had broken my heart, but we’re still going to be good friends. It was all me trying push things to a new level and it was a level she didn’t want to go to.

So I figured titties in my face might make me feel better. I sat and talked with my good friend Exotica, who gave me dating advice, I bought a drink for one of the waitresses who is really cute, named Ashley, who remembered me because we talked and I bought her a drink on July 4th.

And I now know more about the anatomy of one of my favorite dancers and certain scents than I do about most of the women I’ve actually had sex with.

When I was at my loneliest and looking kind of pathetic, one of the girls, Precious, walked over and asked if she could sit with me because she was lonely and I looked lonely. Part of Exotica’s advice had been not to do the lonely, desperate thing if I really wanted a girl to like me, but looking pathetic is sort of my thing to attract girls.

We started talking and she had noticed me several times, but she didn’t think she was my “flavor” since everybody knows I have a thing for Austin, the tall blonde dancer. She obviously isn’t a reader of this blog because I told her “Actually, I’ve got a thing for short asian chicks.”

To which she replied, “I’m short, I’m just wearing really high heels!”

Long story short, she lives in McGregor near my great-aunt Rea, totally wants to hang out with me during the day and whenever we can, and she gave me her real name and her digits so I can give her a call. I’m hoping I can get a date for my Harry Potter viewing this weekend.

We might even make a thing of it by bringing her kids over and watching Goblet of Fire on the HD TV before going to the theater. Normally, I wouldn’t be about chicks with kids, but

• It means she puts out.
• I actually don’t like babies or messy toddlers, other kids are cool like my niece Lindsay.
• And this chick is really hot and I’m sure I can dig her kids, too. It’s always just been a prejudice because I didn’t want to be one of those Mr. Mom types.

If things work out, I might have a Common Sense Girlfriend to write about soon. I definitely don’t feel heartbroken anymore.