Common Sense

Or murder, I’m not sure which it would be yet.

I’ve talked before about my doppleganger on this site and I’m sure you readers thought I was being paranoid or funny or whatever. The fact is, I’m not. For many years now I’ve been confused with him by many people and I’ve even seen him. We look exactly alike.

A few weeks ago, I got a new pair of glasses, then I found out he bought the exact same pair. He even has the same prescription as me. I drive a dark green Chevy Cavalier. He drives a black Chevy Cavalier.

When I stopped shaving, so did he.

The woman who has cut my hair almost every month for the last 10 years can’t tell us apart! I think he may even walk with a cane now.

Everything I’ve every read about dopplegangers says that they are “evil twins” and bad omens. I’ve never talked to him, which I’m not supposed to do, I guess, but I’m tired of not being me, the individual.

I’ve always prided myself on my individuality. Sure, I’ve swallowed a certain amount of pride to emulate a TV character now, but what else would you do if you woke up one day and found you couldn’t walk and your life was a living hell because of severe pain… and there just happened to be a show about a guy just like that. We all need someone to look up to.

And we all need to be ourselves. This doppleganger has been around too long. There can be only one, and I’ve decided unilaterally that it is going to be me. I now know that he works at the Dell call station in McGregor, where Space Monkey happens to work now. I’m going to need his help to find out how to get doppleganger guy out of my life.

I don’t want to go to jail for murder, but I think you could make the case that this is actually a suicide. I need a legal scholar to help me come up with an answer before I do anything crazy. But I’ve got to do something. This has gone on far too long. I need to be me, not him, and vice versa.