Common Sense

Paris Hilton has been ordered back to jail! A judge actually ordered her to go back to the place she checked out of after 5 days to serve her original term of 45 days, minus the 5 she’s already done.

Just look at that picture. I just want to lick her tears. I bet they taste sweet, sweeter than manna from Heaven.

There are reports that she screamed “This isn’t fair!” when Judge Michael Sauer (who is way better than the judge from the Anna Nicole case) handed down the sentence and was crying throughout the whole court proceeding.

Then she had to be dragged out of the courtroom by a female deputy while screaming “Mom! Mom! Mom!”

Should I really be this good about another human being having to suffer? Does that make me the sadistic jerk I always claim to be? I literally feel like I’ve taken a triple dose of Vicodin and I’m listening to Robert Johnson my kick-ass stereo while sitting in that chair I really want from Target. It feels really good.
Her lawyers are apparently are apparently appealing that their client actually has to serve her jail time in jail and have filed a writ of habeus corpus that the Twin Towers Correctional Facility is holding her body illegally. I don’t know if anyone has told them, but President Bush and AG Gonzo got rid of that pesky little constitutional loophole. All we need is for an enterprising intern to step up have Commander Codpiece declare her an “enemy combatant.”

It would certainly be a good PR move, you know, to take our minds off that pesky Iraq War or the fact that we are apparently still fighting the Cold War against Russia.

Paris Hilton has been ordered back to jail! A judge actually ordered her to go back to the place she checked out of after 5 days to serve her original term of 45 days, minus the 5 she’s already done.

Just look at that picture. I just want to lick her tears. I bet they taste sweet, sweeter than manna from Heaven.

There are reports that she screamed “This isn’t fair!” when Judge Michael Sauer (who is way better than the judge from the Anna Nicole case) handed down the sentence and was crying throughout the whole court proceeding.

Then she had to be dragged out of the courtroom by a female deputy while screaming “Mom! Mom! Mom!”

Should I really be this good about another human being having to suffer? Does that make me the sadistic jerk I always claim to be? I literally feel like I’ve taken a triple dose of Vicodin and I’m listening to Robert Johnson my kick-ass stereo while sitting in that chair I really want from Target. It feels really good.
Her lawyers are apparently are apparently appealing that their client actually has to serve her jail time in jail and have filed a writ of habeus corpus that the Twin Towers Correctional Facility is holding her body illegally. I don’t know if anyone has told them, but President Bush and AG Gonzo got rid of that pesky little constitutional loophole. All we need is for an enterprising intern to step up have Commander Codpiece declare her an “enemy combatant.”

It would certainly be a good PR move, you know, to take our minds off that pesky Iraq War or the fact that we are apparently still fighting the Cold War against Russia.