Common Sense

Paris Hilton is no longer in prison. She was in danger of having a nervous breakdown, according to her psychiatrist, so they let her go home.

Psychiatrist Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail yesterday and the day before. We’re told after Sophy’s visit yesterday, word was passed to the Sheriff that Hilton’s mental state was fragile and she was at risk. The reason for releasing her had nothing to do with a rash or other physical issues. It was purely in her head.

What the fuck? If I’m ever in jail, do I get to say ‘But I’m sad and I don’t think I can handle it,’ and get to go home? I probably wouldn’t even get to use my cane. Or take my Vicodin for that matter.

If there was ever a reason to actually hate Paris Hilton, this has got to be it.

What ever happened to Shawshank Redemption-type prison? You know, the kind where the “fish” who cried the most the first night got beaten to death by the guards. I’m all for bringing that back. The worst thing that happens to you in jail now apparently is they let you go home if you’re sad, or they make you wear pink underwear.

Really, if there was a God, Paris Hilton would be getting raped with a mop handle in the prison shower right now by the butchiest, lesbian inmate imaginable and all would be right in the universe. Instead, she’s at home, probably in a bikini getting drunk thinking ‘Prison is fun, I get to sit by my pool and drink mojitos!’