Common Sense

Apparently, rehab isn’t what I think it is because people keep checking in and out and when they’re out they’re doing exactly what they went to rehab to stop doing.

This is what rehab did to Lindsay Lohan for fuck’s sake. But the Daily News says she’s headed to the Promises rehab facility, which I’ve only heard of because I watch that show Intervention.

“She finally realizes it’s the right thing to do,” In Touch quoted a friend of the actress as saying. “She is going willingly.” The pair had just left a Memorial Day pool party at Teddy’s at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood when a paparazzo caught up to them at a gas station around 4a.m. yesterday … Ronson tried in vain to rouse her sleeping pal, who wore a gray hoodie but no seatbelt, when she realized a photographer was snapping away … Ironically, the photos show a medallion dangling in front of the slumbering star from the rear-view mirror. It reads “30 Days” - a reference to the number of days of sobriety. One particularly shocking photo shows Lohan out of the car and on her knees, being watched over by two unidentified men as she seems to vomit on the sidewalk. Another shot shows what appears to be an inch-long fresh cut on the back of her left hand. It was unclear how or when she got the injury.

There are also reports that she was arrested after the car accident because a white, powdery substance was found in her car. Unless she’s a member of al Qaida’s crack Anthrax Squad, those videos of her doing coke off toilet seats were, in fact, genuine.

Yet to be answered is how someone with way more money and fame than me can have a life even crappier than mine. That God, what a sense of humor.