Common Sense

(Ed. note: Joe Weather advises me that this was edited after the fact with animal porn. In my own fantasy world where I  run the control room, I would have gone to YouTube and looked for videos of guys collecting elephant semen… wait, I already did that. Maybe I can get a job working for Nancy Grace!)

Nancy Grace gets hers from her own production crew! Oh, thank you Lord. Thank you for your endless bounty and cosmic sense of humor. Thank you, I’ll try to get up and go to Mass today because of this.

I should probably go to Mass anyway. I just spent four hours at a strip club letting “Sexy Lexi” rub her nipples on my lips, getting a girl named Austin to kiss me on the lips and almost taking another girl named Autumn home with me. I’m a sinner and I need to atone for them. If I was Jewish, I’d only have to do it on Yom Kippur, but these are the prices you pay in life.

Also, was there a coup or something in the Texas Lege? If there was, I’ll throw my hat in the ring to be declared dictator for life. Long live El Presidente!

(Ed. note: Joe Weather advises me that this was edited after the fact with animal porn. In my own fantasy world where I  run the control room, I would have gone to YouTube and looked for videos of guys collecting elephant semen… wait, I already did that. Maybe I can get a job working for Nancy Grace!)

Nancy Grace gets hers from her own production crew! Oh, thank you Lord. Thank you for your endless bounty and cosmic sense of humor. Thank you, I’ll try to get up and go to Mass today because of this.

I should probably go to Mass anyway. I just spent four hours at a strip club letting “Sexy Lexi” rub her nipples on my lips, getting a girl named Austin to kiss me on the lips and almost taking another girl named Autumn home with me. I’m a sinner and I need to atone for them. If I was Jewish, I’d only have to do it on Yom Kippur, but these are the prices you pay in life.

Also, was there a coup or something in the Texas Lege? If there was, I’ll throw my hat in the ring to be declared dictator for life. Long live El Presidente!