Common Sense

I waited one year to see what was going to happen, dutifully mind you, and I have to say, I was a little underwhelmed.

That’s not to say Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End wasn’t a good movie. Or that it wasn’t a great movie that I’m sure will shore up Disney’s summer tent-pole season. There was just more that I wanted from it than it could deliver.

The problem, I’ve deduced, was that director Gore Verbinksi finally went off the deep end (no pun intended) when it came to the special effects. In each movie, he has slowly increased the level of sophistication and the usage of CGI and this time, he may have gone slightly too far.

The other problem that I’ve deduced is that I missed the first ten minutes. I had to work Thursday and I spent all week telling people that I needed to leave just a little bit early in order to make it on time. That’s the night that six copy editors stand around the proofer with my page sitting there and none of think I’m crippled enough that it would be nice not to walk the 10 feet to the thing. They just disbanded and I had to get it my self.

So I arrived late. Sailor Moon was understanding, but I was pissed. They had already locked the doors and stopped accepting tickets, so we snuck in through the out door, found the theater that was printed on the tickets I bought Tuesday and found our seats.

Even if we’d watched from the first second, though, it would have been a might confusing. Everyone is betraying everyone else and keeping secrets and making pacts all to get what they want.

It’s such a departure from what I liked about the first films. A motley crue of people who, for no other reason than fate it would seem, were thrust together and became friends. Now, all of a sudden, everyone is at everyone else’s throat. There was magic lost there.

I can tell you that the scene after the credits does seem to hint that Bruckheimer and Company would like to make a fourth installment. I can also tell you Sailor Moon and I were laughing at the people walking out during the credits because apparently they are morons. How do you not know there’s more movie? They’ve done it three times now!

There could be more to tell:

• Fountain of Youth chart
• Davy Jones locker is apparently a desert
• They steal The Black Pearl from Sparrow… again
• and the whole Calypso thing seemed really pointless

But I would just be beating a dead horse and I’m sure by now you’ve read another review somewhere else. You don’t expect plot outlines from me, do you?

You do? Well, Will and Elizabeth get married by Barbosa in the middle of a sword fight. How’s that? Or Chow Yun Fat makes a convincing pirate.

Even though I felt let down in some ways, it was the summer blockbuster I was hoping for. I give it 3 out of five buckles.

Swash them on your own time!