Common Sense

I mean, old derby is starting to get creaky on me. I’ve had it about a year now and I’ve put a lot of miles on it. I could tell you how many miles if I could figure out how to work that damn pedometer that my Aunt Lola gave me.

I don’t want some retarded, bought it at the drugstore kind of cane, either. I already have one of those and it makes me feel like I should be at Shoney’s for the early bird special every time I walk with it. I’m just going to donate it to some old cripple I meet at the store or something.

Now it’s time for something really bitchin’. You know, something that makes the ladies wet in their panties. Something with a hidden sword or blow darts. Or maybe something with a silver skull that I can just pimp out and get all the bitches.

This Web site actually has a whole section of just canes from my favorite show House. Well, all but the original which sucked anyway. I’ve already got a derby without the collar and I like the grip, but that flame walking cane kicks ass. That’ll make the hos cum runnin’.

I’m open to suggestions and I’d like to hear what the readers think. Leave comments with your pick.