Common Sense

I expect more from a movie Web site like CHUD. I guess I should start lowering my expectations from now on.

28 Weeks Later is, of course, the sequel to from-out-of-nowhere powerhouse neo-zombie flick 28 Days Later. Upping the ante this time as zombie franchises tend to do, we’ve got the military full-on in this one trying to repopulate a small part of the formerly-infected UK.

The ‘zombies’ weren’t zombies at all. After much debate and discussion between me and Space Monkey, we’ve concluded that they are, in fact, reverse vampires.

Zombies are the walking dead. Re-animated corpses that shuffle along while the body continues to decompose. Eventually, only the most primitive parts of the brain remain active and that’s why they can’t talk and why they seem to habitually continue tasks like visiting malls and having nasty zombie sex.

Oh, and they eat brains.

Reverse vampires, on the other hand, are the undead. That’s a big distrinction because undead and walking dead aren’t the same thing. Undead is almost alive. They are only mostly dead.

And just like the name implies, reverse vampires are the opposite of regular vampires. They like to roam out in the sun and they feel the overwhelming need to feed people their infected blood. And they can run like the Dickens!

Now, hopefully since I’ve brought it to their attention, these inaccuracies can be rectumfied.

I expect more from a movie Web site like CHUD. I guess I should start lowering my expectations from now on.

28 Weeks Later is, of course, the sequel to from-out-of-nowhere powerhouse neo-zombie flick 28 Days Later. Upping the ante this time as zombie franchises tend to do, we’ve got the military full-on in this one trying to repopulate a small part of the formerly-infected UK.

The ‘zombies’ weren’t zombies at all. After much debate and discussion between me and Space Monkey, we’ve concluded that they are, in fact, reverse vampires.

Zombies are the walking dead. Re-animated corpses that shuffle along while the body continues to decompose. Eventually, only the most primitive parts of the brain remain active and that’s why they can’t talk and why they seem to habitually continue tasks like visiting malls and having nasty zombie sex.

Oh, and they eat brains.

Reverse vampires, on the other hand, are the undead. That’s a big distrinction because undead and walking dead aren’t the same thing. Undead is almost alive. They are only mostly dead.

And just like the name implies, reverse vampires are the opposite of regular vampires. They like to roam out in the sun and they feel the overwhelming need to feed people their infected blood. And they can run like the Dickens!

Now, hopefully since I’ve brought it to their attention, these inaccuracies can be rectumfied.