Common Sense

Thank you SuperWow! for informing me that City Councilman Ken Valentine is at the center of a recall petition. I guess New Braunfels residents finally got fed up with him and his douchebaggery.

You don’t remember Ken Valentine? If I said “Strippers on inner tubes” would that refresh you memory? Yes, it’s the same guy who thought that strippers went to stripper college or something.

One of the city councilmen, Ken Valentine, is trying to be a wet blanket. Or towel, or whatever.

“I’m really disappointed that this is going to occur on Sunday when people should be in church,” he said. “I hope they behave themselves and keep their clothes on, but I’m not sure they will because strippers are trained to take off their clothes.”

Who is this dork? Why is my day being overrun with douchebags? Where are my painkillers? I mean, strippers aren’t trained. There’s no Stripper Academy where the professors are harsh but fair in their grading on pole gyrations and boob flexibility (but I’ve had so many dreams…). Stripping is a job, like being a mechanic. If a mechanic can keep himself from taking apart a car in the parking lot, I’m sure a stripper can keep her clothes on.

Things went fine, as I recall. There were no wild, lesbian orgies and bikinis stayed on throughout the festivities. I think 100 guys showed up to support the strippers, too.

Well now he’s trying to limit the size of coolers people can take down to the river. What the hell? Does he not understand New Braunfels’ entire economy is based on people spending money while drunk and/or stoned out of their head in New Braunfels. It’s nothing but a river, a water park and gas stations where you can buy beer!

Recall the fucker, that’s what I say.