Common Sense

I totally went without any narcotics yesterday. While that may be a triumph over my dependancy on them, it also meant that I didn’t get any sleep last night. It wasn’t for lack of trying; I had the lights out and I was trying to find a way to get comfotable so that I could sleep. But my leg was hurting something awful, right in the center of my knee.

I hit the limit on how many Tylenol PM I could take pretty quickly and it didn’t help. Eventually I did pass out for about half and hour just because it hurt so much. Then I came to at about 7 a.m. and it still hurt.

I was still awake at 11 when I went to have lunch with my mom and aunt who had been shopping all day. I felt really nauseous and it almost seemed as though the pain was like a tide and it was washing over me in waves. I wanted to throw up, pass out or be doped out of my mind so that I didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

When I got home at 1, I finally gave in and took a couple of tramadol and a Tylenol PM and I actually was able to sleep. I woke up at 4 to go to PT, but I cancelled my appointment because I figured it was better to get some rest than sleep for 3 hours and go strain my leg. Besides, the muscle exercises I can do at home. They don’t get to the root of the problem which is my knee.

To answer Nancy’s question, I haven’t been taking nerve blockers, mostly because when I say my doctor, I’m talking about my orthopedic surgeon. The only other doctor I have is my general practitioner, who I have not seen in months. Today brought into sharp relief the need to find a doctor who specializes in pain that I can go to. It can’t wait until after I’m done with PT because, frankly, I can’t last that long in that kind of pain. So that’s my overriding goal in the next week, find a doctor who can help me with pain management for the rest of physical therapy, and it seems very likely beyond that as well.

I was kind of depressed today, too, which I’m sure didn’t help. Five years ago today, I was in Big Bend on a trip with Sailor Moon’s family and I actually climbed a mountain. It wasn’t Mt. McKinnley or anything, but it did feel like quite an accomplishment (Ed. note: Photos will appear in the next day or two). And today I need a cane to walk to the bathroom. It’s really hard not to be depressed about that, and that only makes my leg hurt more.

And the Aggies beat the Horns 12-7. That’s like the first time in, what, 6 years? It had to be today that those Maroon bastards won? Or that Frank Madla dies?

I totally went without any narcotics yesterday. While that may be a triumph over my dependancy on them, it also meant that I didn’t get any sleep last night. It wasn’t for lack of trying; I had the lights out and I was trying to find a way to get comfotable so that I could sleep. But my leg was hurting something awful, right in the center of my knee.

I hit the limit on how many Tylenol PM I could take pretty quickly and it didn’t help. Eventually I did pass out for about half and hour just because it hurt so much. Then I came to at about 7 a.m. and it still hurt.

I was still awake at 11 when I went to have lunch with my mom and aunt who had been shopping all day. I felt really nauseous and it almost seemed as though the pain was like a tide and it was washing over me in waves. I wanted to throw up, pass out or be doped out of my mind so that I didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

When I got home at 1, I finally gave in and took a couple of tramadol and a Tylenol PM and I actually was able to sleep. I woke up at 4 to go to PT, but I cancelled my appointment because I figured it was better to get some rest than sleep for 3 hours and go strain my leg. Besides, the muscle exercises I can do at home. They don’t get to the root of the problem which is my knee.

To answer Nancy’s question, I haven’t been taking nerve blockers, mostly because when I say my doctor, I’m talking about my orthopedic surgeon. The only other doctor I have is my general practitioner, who I have not seen in months. Today brought into sharp relief the need to find a doctor who specializes in pain that I can go to. It can’t wait until after I’m done with PT because, frankly, I can’t last that long in that kind of pain. So that’s my overriding goal in the next week, find a doctor who can help me with pain management for the rest of physical therapy, and it seems very likely beyond that as well.

I was kind of depressed today, too, which I’m sure didn’t help. Five years ago today, I was in Big Bend on a trip with Sailor Moon’s family and I actually climbed a mountain. It wasn’t Mt. McKinnley or anything, but it did feel like quite an accomplishment (Ed. note: Photos will appear in the next day or two). And today I need a cane to walk to the bathroom. It’s really hard not to be depressed about that, and that only makes my leg hurt more.

And the Aggies beat the Horns 12-7. That’s like the first time in, what, 6 years? It had to be today that those Maroon bastards won? Or that Frank Madla dies?