Common Sense

The good news is that I am down to 4 pills a day. If you don’t count the 8 that I took on Saturday, I’m doing really well. I’ve cut the amount I’m taking by half in only a week.

The bad news is that I feel like crap. I took me forever just to get out of bed this afternoon because my leg hurt so bad. If my prescription ceiling is 8 pills, the floor is obviously 5 because any less than that and I might as well not be taking any.

I’m also seeing just how long I can go without taking anything. I took 2 at 1:30 a.m. along with a Tylenol and a Tylenol PM. I took another Tylenol PM an hour later and went to sleep. I didn’t take anything when I got up and nothing since I got to work just to see what the pain is and how strong it is without any help. In retrospect, this was a stupid idea.

Let me put it this way, my leg hurts enough that I’m only vaguely aware that I have a headache. I don’t actually feel my head hurting because a headache isn’t as painful as my leg. I had to ask myself why my head didn’t feel quite right and my brain said ‘It’s a headache, stupid!’
I’ve picked my final detox day to be Thursday. I won’t have to get up and go to work or do anything that day. Then I just have to make it through work on Friday night then I finish detoxing on Saturday. In case you’re wondering, no I’m not having such a hard time with this because I’m addicted to painkillers. Addiction is a behavioral trait. If I was addicted, I would have another prescription from another doctor in another pharmacy waiting for me when this ran out.

What I have is a chemical dependance, which isn’t the same thing. You can become dependant on insulin or heart medication. It just means your body is used to something being there and it goes haywire when you suddenly stop putting that something in it. That’s what causes the withdrawal. One of the withdrawal symptoms of the stuff I’m taking is seizure, so I’ve been steadily lowering the amount my body is used to having in order to lower the chances of seizure and other symptoms.

I was reading a study of opioid analgysia therapy in chronic pain management. It turns out, this is exactly the wrong kind of opiate to have a chronic pain sufferer on. The dose is so low that you quickly hit the prescription ceiling and then pseudo-addictive behavior starts. Things like waiting at the pharmacy on a Monday morning for it to open so that you can get a refill and rationing out your daily dose of pills so that you can take a whole bunch at once and go to sleep. All of these things I’ve done and all of these things would cause a doctor to think someone is addicted. The reality is that someone suffering from chronic pain over months and years needs continual relief, not a short boost like from tramadol. Vicodin and oxycodone and even MS Contin are all designed to last a longer amount of time than just an hour or two.

I’ve only gone to my new physical therapist once, so I haven’t given him enough time to show me what he can do. But I don’t know how many weeks I can go before I need a liver transplant from all the acetamenophin I’m probably going to chomp down to help deal with the pain.

The good news is that I am down to 4 pills a day. If you don’t count the 8 that I took on Saturday, I’m doing really well. I’ve cut the amount I’m taking by half in only a week.

The bad news is that I feel like crap. I took me forever just to get out of bed this afternoon because my leg hurt so bad. If my prescription ceiling is 8 pills, the floor is obviously 5 because any less than that and I might as well not be taking any.

I’m also seeing just how long I can go without taking anything. I took 2 at 1:30 a.m. along with a Tylenol and a Tylenol PM. I took another Tylenol PM an hour later and went to sleep. I didn’t take anything when I got up and nothing since I got to work just to see what the pain is and how strong it is without any help. In retrospect, this was a stupid idea.

Let me put it this way, my leg hurts enough that I’m only vaguely aware that I have a headache. I don’t actually feel my head hurting because a headache isn’t as painful as my leg. I had to ask myself why my head didn’t feel quite right and my brain said ‘It’s a headache, stupid!’
I’ve picked my final detox day to be Thursday. I won’t have to get up and go to work or do anything that day. Then I just have to make it through work on Friday night then I finish detoxing on Saturday. In case you’re wondering, no I’m not having such a hard time with this because I’m addicted to painkillers. Addiction is a behavioral trait. If I was addicted, I would have another prescription from another doctor in another pharmacy waiting for me when this ran out.

What I have is a chemical dependance, which isn’t the same thing. You can become dependant on insulin or heart medication. It just means your body is used to something being there and it goes haywire when you suddenly stop putting that something in it. That’s what causes the withdrawal. One of the withdrawal symptoms of the stuff I’m taking is seizure, so I’ve been steadily lowering the amount my body is used to having in order to lower the chances of seizure and other symptoms.

I was reading a study of opioid analgysia therapy in chronic pain management. It turns out, this is exactly the wrong kind of opiate to have a chronic pain sufferer on. The dose is so low that you quickly hit the prescription ceiling and then pseudo-addictive behavior starts. Things like waiting at the pharmacy on a Monday morning for it to open so that you can get a refill and rationing out your daily dose of pills so that you can take a whole bunch at once and go to sleep. All of these things I’ve done and all of these things would cause a doctor to think someone is addicted. The reality is that someone suffering from chronic pain over months and years needs continual relief, not a short boost like from tramadol. Vicodin and oxycodone and even MS Contin are all designed to last a longer amount of time than just an hour or two.

I’ve only gone to my new physical therapist once, so I haven’t given him enough time to show me what he can do. But I don’t know how many weeks I can go before I need a liver transplant from all the acetamenophin I’m probably going to chomp down to help deal with the pain.