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Lainie Speiser writes on Lukeisback:

Why are they no STRAIGHT MALE sex columnists? That�s what I want to know. Why do I only get sex advice from gay men and sex positive (cringe, cringe) lefty chicks? Why because it would be too raw and honest for the masses to swallow but I think its high time.

I think I would be a great sex columnist. I’ve had some interesting relationships in my 23 years and I’ve observed plenty. Come on alt-weekly publications, make with the column offers. You know what you get with me; hyperbole in the bedroom!

Really, I’ve comforted plenty of female friends after bad break ups, given advice on what to do to help a relationship along and I obviously know what the straight guy is thinking. I can give honest reasons why men always seem to disappoint women. I have figured out the secret to love and life and I need column inches to inform the masses. Did I mention I work pretty cheap?


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