Common Sense

Apparently, if you put strippers into a crowd, you can’t tell them from regular folk. Even if those strippers are in bikinis.

Maddox, manager of a San Antonio strip club that planned to send about 100 customers floating down the Comal River on Sunday at $25 a tube, said strippers have the right to tube just like any other Texan.

“Strippers ain’t no different from you or me,” he said. “They’re just more beautiful.”

That’s one myth dispelled. Apparently, they can control themselves long enough to keep their clothes on. Take that Councilman Valentine! Although, I’ve seen some ugly strippers in my day…

Anyway, this whole thing is par for the course in the city council’s attempt to crackdown on the partying along the rivers. Locals love the tourist dollars, but they’re tired of cleaning up the litter and listening to the noise of drunk college kids on a Sunday afternoon… when “everyone should be in church.” Some people have also complained about “drunken tubers urinating in public and defacing private property.”

Wait, for a second I thought it said defecating private property. I mean, how much more private can property get than your stool?

This story is funny, but the comments on the Statesman Web site are just as funny.

By Betty

Do not allow alcohol while tubing. It is proven that more deaths related to water recreation are due to alcohol usage. Can’t someone enjoy the beauty of water, without needing to be stoned or drunk?

Short answer Betty is no. Besides, I don’t think you’re going to have any major collisions if you’re drunk in an inner tube. I’m pretty sure that explosions and such only happen in jet skis and boats. Moron.

By AH

I think its crazy that they are all worked up over some strippers going to float the river. I know A LOT of girls that float the rivers that are strippers, but they weren’t in their work group they are out with friends. These girls are just another person like you and I outside of their workplace. They have the right to float the river just like anyone else. Just because their job title is a stripper doesn’t mean they are going to strip on the river, they just want to have fun like everyone else that floats the river!

I think they’re official job title is delicious eye candy.

By Ima Stripper

So let me get this straight: a bunch of strippers went floatin’; no one drowned, they kept their clothes on (like most other people, us strippers aren’t itchin’ to work outside the workplace, especially if you’re not compensated) it was hot out, and jello shots are going to be banned on the river… why is this news????

Finally, an intelligent comment.

Apparently, if you put strippers into a crowd, you can’t tell them from regular folk. Even if those strippers are in bikinis.

Maddox, manager of a San Antonio strip club that planned to send about 100 customers floating down the Comal River on Sunday at $25 a tube, said strippers have the right to tube just like any other Texan.

“Strippers ain’t no different from you or me,” he said. “They’re just more beautiful.”

That’s one myth dispelled. Apparently, they can control themselves long enough to keep their clothes on. Take that Councilman Valentine! Although, I’ve seen some ugly strippers in my day…

Anyway, this whole thing is par for the course in the city council’s attempt to crackdown on the partying along the rivers. Locals love the tourist dollars, but they’re tired of cleaning up the litter and listening to the noise of drunk college kids on a Sunday afternoon… when “everyone should be in church.” Some people have also complained about “drunken tubers urinating in public and defacing private property.”

Wait, for a second I thought it said defecating private property. I mean, how much more private can property get than your stool?

This story is funny, but the comments on the Statesman Web site are just as funny.

By Betty

Do not allow alcohol while tubing. It is proven that more deaths related to water recreation are due to alcohol usage. Can’t someone enjoy the beauty of water, without needing to be stoned or drunk?

Short answer Betty is no. Besides, I don’t think you’re going to have any major collisions if you’re drunk in an inner tube. I’m pretty sure that explosions and such only happen in jet skis and boats. Moron.

By AH

I think its crazy that they are all worked up over some strippers going to float the river. I know A LOT of girls that float the rivers that are strippers, but they weren’t in their work group they are out with friends. These girls are just another person like you and I outside of their workplace. They have the right to float the river just like anyone else. Just because their job title is a stripper doesn’t mean they are going to strip on the river, they just want to have fun like everyone else that floats the river!

I think they’re official job title is delicious eye candy.

By Ima Stripper

So let me get this straight: a bunch of strippers went floatin’; no one drowned, they kept their clothes on (like most other people, us strippers aren’t itchin’ to work outside the workplace, especially if you’re not compensated) it was hot out, and jello shots are going to be banned on the river… why is this news????

Finally, an intelligent comment.