New meaning to ‘Ride the tube’
Published by Nate Nance July 27th, 2006 in Noteworthy News, NSFWStrippers, floating down a river. I’ve had so many dreams that start that way.
NEW BRAUNFELS, Texas — In the midst of attempts to crack down on raunchy and rowdy behavior during traditional summertime tubing river trips through this city, a San Antonio topless club is planning a tubing excursion featuring strippers.
Trey Maddox, a manager at Palace Men’s Club, said Sunday’s excursion — during which men can pay $25 to join the strippers — isn’t meant to fly in the face of the city’s new rules.
“We’re not hookers, dope dealers or Mafia thugs,” he said, noting that the strippers will be appropriately dressed. “We’re just coming to have a good time.”
No, but they are women who look really good naked. And I wish I had $25 and the day off Sunday.
One of the city councilmen, Ken Valentine, is trying to be a wet blanket. Or towel, or whatever.
“I’m really disappointed that this is going to occur on Sunday when people should be in church,” he said. “I hope they behave themselves and keep their clothes on, but I’m not sure they will because strippers are trained to take off their clothes.”
Who is this dork? Why is my day being overrun with douchebags? Where are my painkillers? I mean, strippers aren’t trained. There’s no Stripper Academy where the professors are harsh but fair in their grading on pole gyrations and boob flexibility (but I’ve had so many dreams…). Stripping is a job, lilke being a mechanic. If a mechanic can keep himself from taking apart a car in the parking lot, I’m sure a stripper can keep her clothes on.
Mayor Bruce Boyer said he thought it was unfortunate that the San Antonio club is taking advantage of the situation “to get free publicity.”
“And all we’re trying to do is make it safe and pleasant for anybody 8 to 80 to come and have a safe and enjoyable river experience,” he said.
He’s a douchebag, too! I’m 8 to 80 and I want strippers on inner tubes, damnit.
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