Common Sense

Suri Cruise is the antichrist. My theory is the only one that totally fits all the known facts. According to The Superficial, not even the person who issued Suri’s birth certificate has seen her.

TMZ has obtained a copy of Suri Cruise’s birth certificate which wasn’t filed with the Los Angeles County Clerk until May 8th even though Suri was born on April 18. They also point out some interesting notes about the certificate, like that the “Attendant or Certifier” wasn’t in the room during the delivery and never saw the baby, although she was authorized to sign because the doctor wasn’t available. Additionally, St. John’s Hospital filed the certificate 20 days after the birth as opposed to their usual policy of doing it within 10 days because they needed a signature from the parents or their representative and nobody came in until May 4th. The person who eventually signed was labeled “friend” and the reason they finally came in was because Suri needed a passport and a birth certificate is a prerequisite for one.

Speculation has ranged from Suri just not existing to Cruise really going off the deep end and keeping her in complete isolation to prevent what Scientologists call “engrams.” None of them really explain why, though.

Why would Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes fake an entire pregnancy and pending nuptials? Why would he refuse to even let his Scientologist friends from seeing the baby?

The only thing, the only thing that can possibly explain why no one has seen this baby and follows any sort of logic is that she is indeed the spawn of Satan and as such, has cloven hooves, a tail and horns. Just like in Rosemary’s Baby. With a baby looking like that, there can be no photos and no viewings.

You see, Scientology is just a front for the coming one-world religion. When the antichrist takes over, he (or she) must get people to stop having faith in God. Cruise is banking on us forgetting what a loon he was 20 years from now. Then, there might be some idol worship. Just think about it, how many Christians and Jews love Top Gun?

Diabolical.

If you think I’m paranoid, Cruise himself has really flipped. There are stories about him checking a rechecking locks and being convinced people were following him while promoting MI: III. That boy is crazier than I will ever be.