Common Sense

Keith Olbermann says that every weeknight, and do we have winner tonight. Thanks to super reader DH, we have shenanigans in the unisex bathroom at Minute Maid Park.

Fan claims HPD officer had sex with two women in Minute Maid bathroom
11 News confirmed that Lt. Jeffrey Olesen, of Southeast Patrol was relieved of duty Monday.

Olesen, an off-duty Houston police lieutenant, allegedly had sex with two women in a unisex bathroom at Minute Maid Park.

A fan with a young child told police he walked in and spotted the lieutenant’s firearm on the counter. Fearing the women were being attacked, he called for help.

It turns out, sources said, the women were the lieutenant’s wife and his wife’s female friend.

We have also learned that the 14-year veteran has four sustained IAD complaints for misconduct, improper police procedure and behavior issues.

Administratively, we’re told Olesen’s biggest blunder may be that he was instructed to speak with Internal Affairs after the incident, but did not.

He reportedly just left the ball park. That could prove to be an error.

HPD stresses there are no criminal charges at this time.

When pressed for comment, my coworker and Astros fan, Ned said he thought there were no unisex bathrooms in major league ballparks. If it wasn’t before, it certainly is now!

If I could just talk to the ladies for a minute… Ladies, look, you need to stop letting us guys f–k you in the public bathrooms. The guys are going to hate me for this, but I think you deserve better. If your guy wants you to get your friend to do a threesome (which is always a good idea) then at least make him perform in a clean envirnoment. Not in a place that smells like what was recently $6 beer and $4 hot dogs.

And if he won’t. If he absolutely must have his oats sowed at the ballpark during interleague play, then find a new guy. Some of us are perfectly happy experimenting with wife-swapping from the comfort of our living rooms. We may want to dress up like giant pink teddy bears while we do it, but at least you won’t be knee-deep in man urine… literally.

KHOU has a handy video clip of the news report that I found just hilarious.