Common Sense

There is practically no doubt now that Mission Impossible III is a flop. It grossed so little last weekend compared to its budget that I don’t see Paramount forking over the dough for MI IV anytime soon. Tom Cruise will be in his 50s (that’s not that long from now, by the way) before he plays Ethan Hunt on the big screen again.

Immediately people began searching for reasons. The most obvious one is that people are simply too weirded out by Tom Cruise to shell out $9 just for the ticket. The Scientology Super Friends probably don’t realize it, but they are f-ing the crap out of the regular guy on the street. Once they convert, their personality changes dramatically and that is just too creepy for the casual fan.

But, more likely I suspect, it may just be that the films suck. Or at least they suck as a franchise, as the Financial Express says.

Blame it on “The X-Files.” That ground-breaking TV series — with its ever-more convoluted story lines about alien invaders and government cover-ups — popularised the notion of creating a “mythology,” a growing catalog of ints, clues and underlying relationships, that enriches a tale. It also feeds the enthusiasm of its core fan base, flattered to be asked to tease out the mysteries, often on internet chat boards, even if the mysteries are rarely ever satisfactorily explained.

I think comic books actually beat Chris Carter to the punch, but I won’t quibble too much. The point is that a whole generation that enjoyed the TV show doesn’t care for the movies and the younger generation doesn’t feel compelled to see a sequel that has nothing to do with the other movies. If it’s going to be a trilogy, it damn well better be a Lord of the Rings or Matrix-type thing. If there is nothing in which to invest yourself personally (like story or characters) there’s no reason to go see these movies; other than the fact that everyone else is supposedly going to see it as well. I said something earlier about peer pressure and pieces of crap…

So, good job America. We may have finally killed off part of the movie business that has been festering, like an infected tumor inside of a boil, for some time. Now, if we can just get you to stop watching American Idol and to eat your vegetables, we might yet be able to salvage this republic.